Wonderland
by huggaholic
Summary: Sometimes, the Cullens wonder what could be different...


Sometimes

Sometimes, the Cullen's wonder...

Sometimes, Carlisle wondered what he would have done if he wasn't immune to the scent of human blood. If he wasn't so dedicated to saving human lives. He hoped that he would have found the strength to save Edward, Rosalie, Emmett...Esme. Just the memory of her, lying lifeless in that morgue...it nearly bought him to his knees every time that image came into his head. The thought that if he did not have impeccable self-control; weak and powerless to the sight to the smell and sight of blood, caused him to shudder. All those lives...

Sometimes, Esme wondered what would have happened if her son hadn't died. Would she still have been reunited with Carlisle? Perhaps she would have waited until her son was old enough; eighteen years...it would have made her forty-four. Too old. Much too old to be seen with him in the street without people's thoughts immediately concluding that they were mother and son, instead of lovers. Maybe, then, she would have been changed while her baby was still an infant; watched him grow from afar, and (if he so wished) got Carlisle to change him when he grew old enough? Damning him to immortality, where the only friends you could have were the undead as well...

Sometimes, Edward wondered what would have happened if his family never moved to Forks, and he had never met Bella. Would he have stayed alone for the rest of eternity, or would he have found another who made his un-beating heart feel as if it may come out of its permanent slumber? Some-one who's blood didn't sing to him, who's mind was not closed to his scrutiny...would she be like Bella; petite, brunette and shy? Or would she be different? Would she have been human still, or already a vampire, leaving him without qualms about the state of her soul? And the most important question of all-what would become of Bella?

Sometimes, Rosalie wondered what would have been different in her life if she wasn't beautiful. Not necessarily ugly, but not some-one who would stand out in any crowd. Maybe her parents wouldn't have put so much pressure on her, and let her marry some-one she loved, some-one who loved her...like Emmett. Would she have ever met him, had Carlisle never intervened in her life, if she was just a pretty girl? Probably not. Even if she did, chances are that he would not impress her, but if he did, and they loved each other, with gloriously human emotion, would they have ever got married? To be in that area of America with him, she wouldn't be alone. She would probably already be married, possibly even on honeymoon with her faceless, nameless, fictional, _unknown_ husband...

Sometimes, Emmett wondered how his life would have turned out if he never went hunting that fateful day. He probably would have grown old with some-one from town, laughing, surrounded by his ever-increasing amount of family. Then again, he might have died the next time he want hunting. He always was careless about that, so proud and arrogant over his own strength. Would he have become educated? Chances were he wouldn't. Not past a basic level, enough to read the few articles of print that were available to him...

Sometimes, Jasper wondered what he would have done if he never went into that diner in Philadelphia. If had never met Alice or encountered the 'vegetarian' lifestyle. Would he have ever come round to it? Not on his own, certainly. Perhaps he would have encountered the Denali clan, and they would have steered him in the right direction. Or maybe he would have even met the Cullens, complete with Alice, and joined them. Would he and Alice been together then? Or would she have found some-one else-Edward, perhaps? They did have a lot in common...

Sometimes, Alice wondered how her life would have turned out if she never had visions of the future. Her parents would never have thrown her into the asylum, and she would have been an ordinary young woman. She would have got married, had ordinary children and died, having completed an ordinary life. Or maybe she would have rebelled, and not have been ordinary. Maybe that would have led to her being disowned, thrown to the streets in oppose to an asylum. Perhaps she and her sister would have stayed close, become old women together, clucking at their respective grandchildren and complaining about 'the behaviour of the young people these days', and shared holidays together. Or maybe they would be too different, and grew apart from each other, and only meet at family gatherings like funerals, ignoring each other, muttering to their children to take them home. Then again, they could be like most sisters, and be in the middle of the extremes, laughing together one day, at each others throats the next...

They all wondered, and they all wished they knew. Then again, maybe things turned out for the best, and sometimes the unknown is too terrifying for most to think about. So they wondered, until they were distracted by their reality, and they never knew their alternative realities...


End file.
